002. [Action for Route 35 / Video]

[ratingspoint]

[ACTION FOR ROUTE 35]

[A good amount of the snow has melted off by now but perhaps more importantly it was reasonably not-frigid today, and a lot of the cloud cover has passed over and that means it's been a good day to be outside rather than staring out a damn window.

He's not too far outside of the city when the sun goes down, just far enough to get away from most of the light pollution; there's not much out here, all told, but there is a fence and large, thick wooden slats to climb up (and he's dressed all in black tonight but he's still got those damn pink boots on, and in heels like those it's a wonder he didn't roll his ankle somehow in the process of getting up there but he seems fine enough) and tonight he can be found just...sitting on top of it, legs crossed at the knee like this isn't even a thing and comfortable enough in his coat that it seems the dropping night temperatures aren't touching him at all. There are a pair of Rotoms buzzing around nearby, making nuisances of themselves in the grass and once in a while annoying those little ghost balloons that can be found in there sometimes, but Mettaton doesn't seem to be paying them much mind; they aren't his, after all, not really. Friends, but not captures.

Cousins, maybe.

There really isn't much out here, but there's a chill running through the air that he's not accustomed to and it's wonderful, and more importantly there are stars – real ones, not crystals, not something that you have to project like an IMAX theatre about to make yourself feel better but actual stars – and before long he's smiling like it's going out of style and he's got his hand out, tracing lines between them and maybe finding some actual constellations but most likely just making up his own, and...okay, let's be real, he's probably naming them all after himself.

But he's having a good time, regardless, and obviously that's what matters.]


[VIDEO]

Good evening, beauties!

[...Oh, good, it's this guy again.

He's looking pretty flushed, honestly, as though he's been out in the cold recently, but he's indoors now and he's still dressed pretty warmly, so he'll probably be warmed up just fine in a little while. The room he's in is a lot nicer than the last one, too; it doesn’t look like a hotel room, either, but rather something in a proper residence. ...It's also very aggressively decorated in pink sparkly things (or pink fluffy things, in the case of the bed), and hopefully whomever he's staying with charged him a security deposit because the place looks kinda like a glitterbomb went off in there and lord, that is probably never coming out of the carpet.

Either way, though, Mettaton is in good spirits this evening and the greeting is accompanied by a smile and a wave, because he's entirely aware that he's on-camera and so of course it is.]

As I'm sure you've all been waiting for updates, I'm pleased to tell you all that I've settled in well since my last broadcast! That isn't to say it's been easy, but I've been liking the challenge. After all, there's no tension in having everything handed to you! No suspense, no drama – it'd be terribly boring.

But there are some questions you just have to use a lifeline on, aren't there? So I think I'll choose to poll the audience on this one:

Say that you've come across a Pokémon with a bit of an...attitude problem. Serious attitude. So many problems. And maybe you want to help the poor darling out, because apparently it's too abrasive for its own good and a little on the dim side. And really, what else are you supposed to do with something like that?

[...He's found something that's pretty much Mad Dummy incarnate, let's put it that way.]

So the question is this: Assuming that you're both entirely committed to doing this and sufficiently attractive and charismatic, how do you go about getting it to warm up to you?

A. Hope that your good looks and charm will win it over eventually.
B. Flirt with it, because apparently that works more often than you'd think.
C. Beat it into submission somehow.
D. None of the above?

[...METTATON, NO.]

I'll be taking calls from viewers for the next good while, but the option won't be open forever – so do take advantage of the opportunity as soon as possible!

Until next time!

Comments

[Text]

[callbacks]

a
you could try b i guess but i wouldnt advise it because something that can shoot streams of fire out its ass or crush your eyeballs into jelly with its brain powers probably isnt something you want to lead on
what about baldfaced bribery have you tried that yet

[ratingspoint]

[Oh, text, he can definitely do text! He's a firm adherent to capslock being cruise control for cool, but generally speaking, text is fine.]

I HAVEN'T TRIED THAT YET, DARLING!
THE MONSTERS HERE ARE...DIFFERENT.
AND MY RESOURCES ARE MORE LIMITED THAN I'D LIKE.
SO I HAVEN'T BEEN SURE WHAT TO BRIBE THEM WITH, IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.
OUTSIDE OF MAYBE FOOD AND PROMISES I DON'T INTEND TO KEEP.
(OR ONES I WILL KEEP, ASSUMING THAT IT'S CONVENIENT TO DO IT AND I DON'T FORGET?)
BUT BRIBERY IS ON THE TABLE, SWEETHEART, OF COURSE. ANY SUGGESTIONS?

[callbacks]

i dunno about promises but foods been a big hit with mine so far
its kind of funny sometimes because they all have different tastes
but most of mine are babies so they like
dont even know they dont like something until like the seventy eighth time they put it in their mouths???
shits hilarious i could watch it all day

[ratingspoint]

THEY'RE INTERESTING THINGS, AREN'T THEY.
ADMITTEDLY CHILDREN AREN'T MY STRONG POINT.
I'VE HANDLED YOUNG FANS BEFORE, OF COURSE! THAT'S SIMPLE ENOUGH.
SMILES AND AUTOGRAPHS, MERCHANDISE AIMED AT THEIR AGE BRACKET, SMALLER-SCALE FLAMETHROWERS - THEY LOVE IT!
BUT CHILDREN ON THEIR OWN...
I'VE NEVER REALLY HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.
PETS AND ANIMALS ARE DIFFERENT, OF COURSE, BUT THE POKEMON ARE NEITHER.

[Video]

[samsa]

[So this is definitely...well. It is. Between the room the video is taking place in to the person actually on screen, Kaneki is quite honestly at a loss for words. But at the same time, something compels him to respond to this, but he honestly isn't sure what that is.]

Um...D? I'm not really...sure how well I could pull off A or B. I'd pick C because that sounds like you'd just be battling it, but when you put it that way it sounds...harsh.

[But is battling it anything but beating it into submission, though.]

[ratingspoint]

Hi, and thank you for your input, darling! Though maybe you're right and it is a little harsh to be that blunt about it...

[But he is from a world where actually utilizing the battle mechanic is a bad thing...]

At the same time, sometimes people just don't listen without a little encouragement! Motivation like that works, darling, and besides, violence sells if you market it right.

[...He also really likes killing people.]

[samsa]

Oh- you're welcome.

[Darling?...also wait are we still talking about a Pokemon here, or-]

I...guess that makes sense. As far as Pokemon go, anyway...

[Then again, there are plenty of people who enjoy violence. Why else would slasher movies and such be so popular?

...suddenly, he feels like he's getting a bit off track from what Mettaton was originally asking about, hang on.]

Are you having trouble with a certain Pokemon right now, or was that just a hypothetical question?

Video

[coolskeleton_95]

Well, if flirting doesn't work, perhaps you could win them over with a home-cooked meal! I know from experience that nobody can resist a delicious plate of spaghetti, tactfully placed right where they would come across it, and be so compelled to fill their empty stomach with!

[ratingspoint]

Bribery and a diversion from the larger goal. How horribly underhanded... I love it!

[oh my god why]

[coolskeleton_95]

NYEH HEH HEH!

But of course! Nobody is better at japing the un-japed that the Great Papyrus!

action;

[shuttermouse]

[ Tonight seems like a good time for going out on Route 35 and taking photos of things, so Chie will be doing exactly that. Her backpack is looped over her shoulders and she's wearing those boots Tsukiyama got her for Christmas, just in case she wants to climb trees - though she won't be doing any of that at the moment, since she's busy crouching her body close to the ground while she creeps toward the Rotoms that are buzzing around in the grass.

Once close enough, he raises the camera clutched between her hands and carefully frames the shot in the viewfinder before pressing the button and firing off the flash. ]

[ratingspoint]

[Well, the flash gets the Rotoms' attention, that's for sure - not quickly enough to ruin the shot, but more than enough to ensure that they're going to go see who the newcomer is. Or, at least, the braver of the set is; the other one's just kind of along for the ride, whether it really wants to be or not.

They're some of the nicer of the set that Mettaton's been collecting; god help everyone if they'd been some of the ones with issues, but fortunately enough those usually stay in the house wreaking minor havoc with the Cuisinart and generally aren't too interested in coming outside. So for now it's just these two, buzzing little glowing trails through the grass and wanting to see what the blinky thing was over here.

...Mettaton, meanwhile, knows the flash of a camera when he sees one, even if it's just peripherally; however, he'll let the Rotoms do their thing for the moment before he says anything, because really, what a strange person.]

If you want photographs, darling, all you have to do is ask.

[shuttermouse]

I don't like asking. [ She peers over her camera at Mettaton. ] The pics come out more natural-looking if I don't ask, you know?

[ACTION]

[deaftly]

[It probably doesn't come as a surprise that Naki's been looking for Mettaton. He doesn't usually worry about people, but if anyone is going to go out and have something disastrous happen to them, it's Mettaton. Thankfully it seems like Mettaton's doing just fine, and after a moment of consideration, Naki moves to climb up beside him. This would have been so much easier as a ghoul, but he's been human for over a year now and it's easy for him to maneuver his way up and flop beside his robot friend.]

Hey, you enjoying yourself?

[He's actually dressed a bit different today since it was one of those "fuck this shit, I'm not leaving the house" days, so Naki's in a black coat and black jeans. He's got his hands shoved in the pockets, but he doesn't seem too cold at least.]

...What are you doing anyway?

[With the tracing thing, he means.]

[ratingspoint]

[Well, look at that, you found him. And he hasn't fallen through thin ice or been mauled by a bear! He's even got all his limbs attached.

Clearly, it's a good night.

That said, he definitely isn't opposed to the company; he shoots a quick glance toward the tall grass nearby just to make sure that the Rotoms aren't getting into a scuffle with any Inkays Naki may have brought with him, but for the time being it seems they've found a Litleo to hassle and they're having a grand time of it, so he sees no reason to say anything to them for the time being.

His focus goes to Naki, then, and when he speaks his voice is as bright as ever.]

Good evening, gorgeous. I told you I'd be out here to see the stars as soon as the weather allowed, didn't I?

[deaftly]

[Don't worry about the Inkays, they're very fond of beating things up because this is what Naki does with his life. They're level 100 and this is totally unfair to literally everything in the grass here, but Naki doesn't care.]

Yeah, you did. You enjoying yourself, then?

[He draws his knees up to his chest and rests his chin on them, glancing at Mettaton as he does.]

text;

[ladywithnovoice]

D - Hope that my Pokemon's good looks and charm win it over.

[ratingspoint]

[...YOU. HE LIKES YOU.]

WHAT A CLEVER IDEA! SIMPLE, BUT EFFECTIVE - I LOVE IT!
I'LL BE SURE TO KEEP IT IN MIND FOR THE FUTURE.
GOOD FOR YOU, DARLING!

[it's probably sad that none of that is sarcastic

it's hard to tell over text but holy shit]

[ladywithnovoice]

[As someone restricted to using text all the time, at least Red is a little more willing to give the benefit of the doubt in this case. There's a hesitation before she sends off her next text.]

Glad you like the sound of it. Pokemon at least know their own kind a little better, right?

Video

[lieutenantantichrist]

E, the same thing you'd do with anybody you outrank who isn't pulling their weight: you tell them to get their shit together or you'll boot their ass to the curb.

[He squints at the background as it tries to stab out his eyes with pink sparkles.]

Here's a hint for getting some respect - quit living in a teenage girl's locker.

[ratingspoint]

[You know, he really hopes that you're not expecting his enthusiasm to die down any, because he does so hate to disappoint his viewers.]

My, my... How forceful! I'm impressed, sweetheart.

Why don't you put all that passionate intimidation into something a little more productive? Macramé, maybe.

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Very, very slowly, Blake's eyes narrow.]

[His role is giving shit, not taking it.]

Did you just call me sweetheart?

[That was a glitch, or a misunderstanding. This isn't a thing that's happening.]

(Text)

[baremyfangs]

A, B then C. You've gotta have options.

Except I wouldn't beat it too hard. Pokémon are too cute for that.

[ratingspoint]

THAT THEY ARE, GORGEOUS!
IT'S JUST A SHAME THEIR PERSONALITIES DON'T ALWAYS MATCH UP.
BUT THEN, I WAS WONDERING WHEN A CHALLENGE WAS GOING TO CROP UP. IT'D BE BORING OTHERWISE, WOULDN'T IT?

[...this conversation is probably going to be capslock refrigerator poetry from here on out, sorry.]

[baremyfangs]

How do you know I'm not an old hag, huh?

That makes 'em cuter to me.

What's a world without challenges?