003. Action for Goldenrod City / Video

[ratingspoint]

[ACTION FOR GOLDENROD CITY / SLIGHTLY BACKDATED TO 2/2]

[As usual, Mettaton is outside when the sun comes out in all its glory today; it's a little chilly for his liking, but the direct sunlight is going a long way toward taking the edge off and it's more brisk than anything. Either way, it looks like he's enjoying himself – and like he's made a new friend, maybe, seeing as he's sitting on a park bench with a Pokémon in his lap, round and pink and large-eyed and probably a pretty familiar species to people who have spent any time at all around the Goldenrod area.

It seems like he's doing something with her outside of just letting her sit there being cute as fuck, though; he's gesturing a bit in her general direction – surprisingly, it's nothing overly grand, just the sort of handsigns that are obviously supposed to mean something to the creature staring at them, and anyone with musical training will probably recognize solfege when they see it. It looks like they've done this before, too; granted, it takes the Jigglypuff a moment to remember what he's doing, but she picks it up quickly enough and before long there's a scale happening, followed by something else that's obviously supposed to have some sort of tune to it.

There aren't any words, obviously, given that this is still a Pokémon he's working with, and the melody is a reasonably simple one (la-do-do, la-ti-so-do, fa-la-la, so-la-ti-so) but the fact that she's got some grasp on it seems to be making Mettaton happy in a strange, smirking sort of way, and the Jigglypuff seems pretty content to be making him happy, and clearly, this is just going to be what they do with their lives today.]


[VIDEO / 2/3]

Good afternoon, beauties!

[The weather is decidedly nastier today than it was yesterday, though judging by the coat he's still got on and the fact that his hair is still a bit damp (acceptably fluffed-out, but still obviously having been wet previously) that didn't deter Mettaton from going out in it a short while ago. After all, sleet is new! Frozen bouncy precipitation! It's fun.

...Weather hasn't quite lost its novelty factor yet.

That said, though, he's back indoors for the video broadcast, and it doesn't seem that the aggressively pink...situation that is his bedroom has improved any. If anything, it's gotten slightly more surreal: that certainly is a lawnmower in the corner, because of goddamn course it is, and it's standing out a bit against all the sparkles and the soft things lying around.

But that is neither here nor there.]

Today's broadcast is going to be relatively short and sweet – but don't be deceived by its simplicity! Again, I'm asking for audience participation – because while I've got all of you gorgeous people watching, it would be almost a shame to not have a call-in show once in a while!

[...He's got a question, in other words.]

My question today is one of the heart – namely, those of our monster companions. Now, last I knew, human souls were some of the most powerful forces in the world, able to withstand...oh, all sorts of things. But the monsters here...! They can withstand even the most powerful magical attacks, and all they do is faint... The strength of their souls must be immense, able to overpower even the strongest of humans.

My question to you, darlings, is whether we know if they can be overpowered? Does anything kill them, in other words, or are they just going to live forever?

And for those playing along at home that are just dying to voice whatever threats and accusations just popped into your sassy little heads – bzzt! Wrong! I have no desire to hurt these things – if anything, I'm trying to make sure the opposite happens. So save it for another show, will you?

[...Buddy...]

Comments

[ratingspoint]

[...You know, say whatever you like about Naki's lack of hobbies outside of those squids and cake, he's got those things well-trained by now, doesn't he, good lord.

That said, Mettaton seems pleased with whatever the Jigglypuff is doing down there; he's still kind of smiling in her direction when he answers.]

This is Glitterypuff - I found her being a little diva during that strange weekend last month when everything was a musical, and not just because I decided to make it one. Unfortunately, her audience didn't appreciate her performance - but I certainly did.

[...Everything in like a 20-foot radius was asleep, it was sort of tragic.

And yes, he did just say that name with a perfectly straight face. Anyway.]

She's going to be a little star once we've figured a few things out, I'm going to make sure of it!

[oh my god she looks so proud of herself

so damn proud of herself]

[deaftly]

...You're a disaster.

[But it's said fondly, because Mettaton is the sort of disaster Naki can approve of.]

So are you teaching her specific songs? I don't think I've heard a wild one sing something like that before. Though uh... it's kinda hard to tell...

[LOOK NAKI JUST RUNS FROM THE JIGGLYPUFFS BECAUSE THEY PUT HIM TO SLEEP FASTER THAN HIS POKÉMON]

[ratingspoint]

I am, yes. That's one I sang recently back home, it's part of a stage show that I wrote in something like ten minutes because Dr. Alphys wanted me to.

[...]

...It's a long story, why that was necessary - and strictly speaking it wasn't even necessary, period. But I wasn't going to complain about getting to put on a show like that for no real reason.

[deaftly]

...One day I'm going to learn not to ask. But... I'm curious. Why the hell did you do it if it wasn't necessary-- actually, don't answer that. You did it because it sounded like it'd be amusing, right?

[He's trying to sound exasperated. It's not working at all. This is actually pretty funny.]

[ratingspoint]

Correct! You're getting good at this game.

[Well, he certainly sounds amused; give him a moment to lean down and set Glitterypuff over there on the ground, she seems interested in the squids and wants to go say hello. Here's hoping she doesn't knock them out...]

If I was going to be put to work like that, I wanted to enjoy myself. That was a good way to do it.

[deaftly]

[The squids are totally here to say hi to their new friend!! There's a lot of excited chirping going on, but Naki's obviously not paying attention to that.]

So you put on a show. I can't say I'm surprised... But hey, isn't making up a song in like, ten minutes pretty fucking impressive?

[He doesn't actually know, of course.]

[ratingspoint]

Do you think so? I'm flattered!

[...He says, in such a way that implies that he knows it's pretty fucking impressive.]

The entire thing was an extended show, actually! It just involved several of my soundstages.

[deaftly]

[You absolute asshole, don't make him laugh at that!!]

Oh yeah? So are you gonna tell me more about it or are you gonna keep me waiting in suspense?

[ratingspoint]

Suspense is what keeps the audience coming back for more, you know! But its also pointless without any payoff, soooo...

[That said, how do you even...explain this mess.]

We have surveillance set up all over the Underground - mostly just to keep an eye on everything, I don't know if it's Asgore's orders or what, it doesn't matter to me and I don't really care. Anyway, the place is so contained that it isn't like that's hard. Set up some cameras in the trees and the plants and a few behind the walls and you're good to go, and the Echo Flowers are pretty useful too. Sometimes I'll get sent out if something looks interesting enough. But for the most part Dr. Alphys just keeps an eye on it.

Anyway. The point is that a human showed up recently.

[He shifts a bit; crosses his legs idly. Glances down at Glitterypuff to make sure she's still playing nice (she is).]

And since that barely ever happens, Dr. Alphys was...interested. For a lot of reasons. Most of them were pretty mercenary at first, but the longer she watched the human, the more attached she got. And before long she was going on about how she wished she could do something for them but oh, she couldn't possibly because she's a terrible waste of space and there's no way the human would ever want anything to do with her.

So she decided to write a narrative out that would make her seem like a great person. It'd give her the chance to save the human a few times - not that the human would ever be in any real danger, of course - and be the "real" heroine of the human's story. And she'd feel good about herself and have people like her and whatever, you get the idea.

Of course, no good story is complete without a villain, so she asked me to use my soundstages and torment the human a bit. Threaten them with chainsaws, try to set them on fire, attempt to blow them up, you know how it goes.

[deaftly]

...I'm not surprised at all.

[That said, he's trying really damn hard not to laugh, so well done!!]

Holy fucking shit though, I thought you said the human wasn't in any real danger? Chainsaws and explosions are pretty fucking dangerous!

[ratingspoint]

Oh, no, no, no - that's where the beauty of entertainment lies. The bombs weren't designed to go off properly, the walls of flames were all remotely controlled by both Dr. Alphys and myself so they would never actually harm the human, and as for the chainsaw...

[...]

...Well, that was a live weapon, but Dr. Alphys didn't need to know that.

[deaftly]

Oh my god.

[GIVE HIM A MOMENT TO LAUGH REALLY GODDAMN HARD, OKAY]

Holy shit, so you guys planned this thing out to make her look good? But there's no way you would have left it like that, right? That sort of ending sounds pretty boring. "And they lived happily ever after" or what-the-fuck-ever.

[ratingspoint]

The story we were going with was...amateurish, really. She told the human that I was "malfunctioning", that my human-eradication protocols were on the blink and I was out of control. The finale of her little plan involved me cornering the human in a private room so she could swoop in at the last minute and "rescue" them.

[...]

So I locked her out of the room from the inside, told the human - and everyone watching at home, because of course this was televised! - about all the lies Dr. Alphys had been telling them, and proceeded to try to kill them. Genuinely this time.

[deaftly]

You're fucking amazing.

[That's completely genuine, alright.]

I bet that shit was super popular too - you can't make stuff like that up! Well, I guess you could, but you used that opportunity to make yourself look fucking awesome, holy shit.

[ratingspoint]

Darling, I make sure look awesome no matter what I'm doing.

[He does sound genuinely pleased by that, though.]

My ratings have never been as high as they were for that broadcast - it was worth every bit of it, even if Dr. Alphys left a lot to be desired as far as her own performance went.

[deaftly]

Well yeah, but could anyone really live up to your standards?

[Naki settles a bit, leaning back against the bench and staring up at the sky.]

...That's the sort of thing you're gonna do here, right? TV and shit. I looked into it a bit and it sounds like Fuschia's got studios - but you've probably already figured all that out. Are you gonna hop the train and head over there soon?

[ratingspoint]

As soon as possible, yes - I know better than to set out with literally nothing, especially since I don't know anyone here.

[deaftly]

...Let me know when you decide to go, alright? I can help you get supplies or whatever.

[Something about that isn't really sitting right with him, but Naki isn't sure what it is.]

[ratingspoint]

[Either way, it's going to get a vaguely dismissive wave from Mettaton, so.]

Don't worry about me, darling - I succeeded once in show business, I can do it again. I'll be fine.

[deaftly]

Oh. No, that's not it at all. If anything, I'm pretty damn sure you're gonna show up and they'll be fucking tripping over themselves to sign you up immediately.

[...he hasn't even seen you act...]

[ratingspoint]

Then there's nothing to worry about, is there?

[deaftly]

...Yeah.

[But that doesn't really sound right for some reason and Naki looks really confused.]

What are you gonna do when you make it big?

[ratingspoint]

Good question! That's an excellent question. I did mean it when I said that my only desire is to perform for people, so... Making it big is its own reward, sweetheart! It's all I really want in life.

Why do you ask?

[deaftly]

[He tips his head a bit as he thinks. It looks like it's taking a lot of effort. But he's almost got it, just give him a second--]

Are you gonna forget about me?

[THERE IT IS.]

[ratingspoint]

What.

[And that's...perhaps alarmingly flat, given how over-the-top he usually is; he's gone rather tense as well, and it takes him decidedly longer than normal to recover.]

I... W-Well, why would I...?